Bride Books Wedding At Plantation, Can’t Understand Why Black Bridesmaid Bailed

Posted On : 09/14/2018

THE SOUTH, UNITED STATES — This year, you’ve probably heard your share of incomprehensible, mayonnaise-slathered stories of white America’s “understanding.” But this one here ties the bag.


There’s nothing more frustrating than someone of Caucasian descent pretending to give a f**k concerning struggles or horrors plaguing the Black community.

NOTE: For the ones who truly empathize, that’s another story. But, that’s not the following case.

According to Insider, Reddit user “southernwedding21,” took to the social media forum expressing her distaste towards one of her former bridesmaids.

“I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor and three of my closest girlfriends to be my bridesmaids,” the user mentions.

Yet, from the following story, it’s entirely possible she and her Black friend should never have been as close.

The user’s post said that, since childhood, she’s always adored the plantation and calls it “incredibly beautiful.” That’s a sharp contrast to Black America’s stance on former slave plantations, yes?

But she continues:

“When I announced the venue location to my bridal party, everyone seemed excited for me except J and T (who is best friends with J).”

If you ask me, it sounds like none of the bridal party understood why this venue was an abominable choice. With that in mind, the bride said she thought nothing of it.

However — supposedly — what got her heated, was the message she woke to the next morning.

It was from the bridesmaid. Apparently, the bride isn’t one for confrontation, so the friend thought to send a message.

“I love you a lot but I have to bow out of being a bridesmaid. When you and (fiance) started dating two years ago and you started thinking about what a wedding would look like, you mentioned wanting to get married at (plantation). I told you then that I could not be part of a wedding that happened at a plantation.”

“I firmly believe all plantations should be museums that highlight the atrocious injustices toward my community,” the former bridesmaid states. “We talked in great detail about exactly why I felt that way and you told me that your love for me outweighed your desire to have a wedding at (plantation) and I wouldn’t have to worry about it.”


According to the bride, she definitely remembers having the conversation.

“I thought she was being overly sensitive and would change her mind when my actual wedding came around,” the Reddit user mentions.

“And while her degrees are in African-American Studies, I find it ridiculous that her colleagues would judge her for being at my wedding,” she audaciously continues.

You see, the former bridesmaid told her that — while she loves her very much — she couldn’t stake her reputation on attending the woman’s wedding.

The friend said that, if she was pictured or seen at a plantation wedding, her professional reputation could be ruined…let alone her moral standards.

“[As] much as I love you, I can’t make that sacrifice,” she told the bride.

“Please know that my issues with the chosen venue do not translate to issues with you and (fiance). I love you both and I am so happy for the two of you.”

According to the bride, at the time of her post, she hadn’t responded to the friend. She said she didn’t know how to reply.


More importantly to her, she didn’t know how to “convince” the friend she was being “ridiculous.” She asked Reddit readers the following:

“How do I convince her that she’s being ridiculous and that what happened there was a long time ago and has no bearing on my wedding? And that any colleague that would judge her is incredibly narrow minded and shouldn’t be paid any attention to?”

So…Reddit users responded. But it was nothing like what she’d hoped.


Given the amount of pressure applied to this ignorant wedding dreamer, she eventually deleted her Reddit profile altogether, according to Insider.

Twitter user StopWhiteWomen2k18 states:

“What has me f**ked up most is that the OP white bride LIED and *pretended* to understand and give a f**k when her Black bridesmaid originally objected to the plantation wedding. The mendacity and callousness.”

There are several more responses like this one. In addition, others praise the bridesmaid for backing out of the wedding and standing her moral ground.

If you’re interested in the full text, Relationships.Txt (a Twitter user) captured the moment via photo below.

All in all, what are your thoughts on this situation? If you have any comments, feel free to share them via our Facebook page.

FYI: Please take a moment to change Facebook notifications for The Black Loop to “See First,” so you don’t miss any breaking news or trending stories from us on your timeline.

[Featured Photo via Twitter]

Share It!

Let Your Friends Know!